You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
