the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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