I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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