it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
