Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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