I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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