Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Still dying that you shit outside
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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