i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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