I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
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i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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