O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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