Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
