I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
