I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize