if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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