i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
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I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
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There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize