so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize