I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
