Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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