It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize