I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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