White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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