ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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