omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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