I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
