I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
This is the high leading the old right now
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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