I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
