Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
