So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
