If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
There was a lot of him and a little penis
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
My ass is underappreciated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
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