I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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