but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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