So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i just had sex bonerless
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
