why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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