ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
