After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
