I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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