I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
