I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
