dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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