he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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