I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
