May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
