she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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