This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
