Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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