i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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