Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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