dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
