hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
