You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
