And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
