There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
