Will you blow on my dice?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
