Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
