i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
