felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
