just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
